A friend’s social media bio description led me to an Al-Qur’an verse: Al-Baqarah 2:186. The phrase “indeed I am near” in the middle of the verse got me thinking about loneliness. What is it? Is it a feeling, a situation, or a delusion?
Loneliness, the driving feeling that of two needs: intimacy and isolation.
In my opinion, “loneliness”, in our mind, is purely subjective. We can have many people around, loving us, but we still suffer from loneliness. It’s a trick from our mental state.
I reflect that now I am in the young adulthood phase. Some of us long or even fear intimacy, some of us feel isolated (especially in the current pandemic situation). Erickson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development support this.
I truly feel that often, the swinging needs, between intimacy and isolation. Though I still manage to handle it healthy. I have to confess that I am clinging my mental state tightly to the verse I mentioned above.
This is by no means a tafsir of Al-Qur’an. I’m just reflecting on my thoughts.
And when My servants ask you, [O Muḥammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.
Al-Baqarah 2: 186
There are a few keywords: ask, near, calls, obedience, guided.
Asking about The Strong when we succumb to our weaknesses when we need support to stand up again. Who’s powerful? Who’s to lean-to? Who’s in charge?
It is Allah.
But where is He? I cannot see Him, or hear Him, let alone feel His Strength!
He is near, nearer than the vein in the neck. That’s why we cannot “feel” Him. The feeling instrument is the heart. We thought of Him by only our head, while actually, Allah is even closer than that our head to the heart.
So check our pulses. The breaths.
The notion of “we are alive right now” is proof that someone is still taking care of us.
He is been there all the time. To feel Him, we need to call, make a prayer–shalat and du’a. So when the loneliness struck, it’s time to put our heads to the ground and raise our hands, just like what His servants would do.
By that, loneliness won’t last forever. It may never exist in our mind, as the calls to prayer ring in our ears at least five times a day.
What about obedience?
To hold ourselves from excessive worldly desires. To strive to fulfill whatever He trusts us to fulfill. Hold to the amanah and complete it, until the pulses and breaths come to stop.
All of that are the prerequisites of getting His guides, from the start to the end. Because, what is it about isolation and intimacy? Security. And His guides, the best guide in the world, will bring us security, and put the mind and heart at peace.
I am clinging to that narrative so strongly. Nothing will shatter me as long as I know and I believe that He is always close to me. I want to hold it until I die.